Atypical Insomnia...

I've had trouble sleeping lately. And when I say this, I don't mean the kind of trouble sleeping that I usually have (I kinda suck at sleeping anyways). I mean the kind of trouble where the other night it took me four hours to fall asleep and then I only slept for two hours before I was fully awake again. No good. Makes for a very tired and grumpy nanny. Which creates grumpy children.

The other day I was talking to my roommate, Ashley, and I told her that I think I know what the reasoning behind this incessant insomnia is. I originally attributed it to stress, as I have obviously lost my mind by agreeing to work as much as I have been working, but it's becoming clearer to me that it isn't necessarily the stress that keeps me awake.

You see, when babies reach about thirteen or fourteen months old, they stop sleeping well because they are in the stage of discovering so much and learning so much that sleeping puts a stop to it, and, well, that just isn't ok. They want to stay awake so they don't miss anything new. They want to keep discovering. Now, I know I am twenty-one years old, but this makes so much sense to me. Right now, at this stage of life, in this particular situation, I have so much going on. I just got a new roommate, and overnight my house has become this giant, constant slumber party. We're having so much fun! In addition, I got very inspired this weekend after a series of conversations to actually get up and do something with my life, and follow my dreams. So today I started to consider quitting my job and going after my passions (sorry John, I don't have a thesaurus handy!). This, my friends, is so much to think about! So much to enjoy! So much to be excited about!

So now, at 11:30 at night, when I have to be up by seven, for the like 15th night in a row, I have no desire to go to sleep. I want to stay up and chase after life. I want to discover what's out there for me. I want to go back upstairs and play with all my roommates (we just played much guitar hero in our pajamas and then did the whole "good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite" routine as we headed into four different bedrooms, it was so fun!). Life is so fun right now. This age is so fun, because we have no idea what happens next. What adventure lies there!

So why would I want to sleep? Oh yeah, there's that energy to do my job thing. Why do we have to go to bed? Oh yeah, we all gotta work tomorrow.

...unfortunate, isn't it?

Goodbyes at Sunrise...

The clock in the car read 4:39am as I turned out of my subdivision and headed toward the airport. I had only been asleep for two hours when the alarm went off, so I wasn't really even tired. I had been psyching myself up for this all night. I was hoping it would be quick and painless, unlike my last three goodbyes. I made it to the airport in about fifteen minutes, parked the car, grabbed the keys, and headed to the terminal. I was early; they weren't here yet. The airport was surprisingly busy for this early on a Sunday morning, and I sent him a text to tell him so. He sent one back, asking if that meant I was here. Well, of course I was. It wasn't long before they walked up, both carrying some of his stuff. We all got in line for him to check in. We made small talk while we waited, and laughed quietly at each other a few times. After he checked in, we walked to the security line, and stood and stared at each other for a moment. He said we could go, and she said that yeah, she was just thinking it was time to go. She hugged him first, and told him she loved him, and then it was my turn. I, too, told him I loved him, and that I was proud. We snapped a picture, and then said goodbye one more time. As we turned to walk away, we found ourselves looking back just once, and I yelled out one more loud goodbye. We both smiled sadly to ourselves, and walked side-by-side out of the terminal. As we headed toward our cars, it seemed there was nothing left to say. It was done, it was over. It was just goodbye. Just another goodbye at sunrise...