Thursday, June 9, 2011

Another You

You.
Yes, you.
A different you.

I would tell you how much I love you, but it would be wasting my time. You already know. I loved you to the death of us. A heartbreaking, slow, painful death. I would say that you broke my heart, but really I broke my own. And it hurt. Oh, did it hurt. But I don't have to tell you that. You know what a broken heart feels like, especially now. You know.

When I saw you, I don't know what I felt. Half of me wanted to run the other way, and the other half of me was thrilled that you were there. Yes, thrilled.

I don't believe in coincidence. I know that there's a reason that we were both there. And it was glorious. Being with you again, that was glorious. And so many other things.

I know that things can never be the way they were. I know that we can't pick up where we left off. I screwed up, on so many levels, and I know that that was the end. But apologizing to you, that healed a part of my heart that I didn't even know was still broken. I truly am sorry. I am.

Leaving you that night, that's a completely different story. If I knew how to cry, I would have. All the way home, I would have cried. I just wanted more than I got. But I'm grateful for what I had.

I believe in redemption. I believe in healing. I believe in restoration. I believe in ME. And I'm asking that you would, too. Please?

I love you. And you know. You KNOW.

Always,
Me