Why I Am

I have learned more about myself this year than in any of the twenty years of my life prior to this one. What I have learned about myself has brought me so much more clarity about why I am the way I am, and through that I have been granted truth and freedom. This has caused me to no longer believe in self-defining moments, but rather self-defining periods of life. This has definitely been one for me, and I don't think it's over yet. I am grateful that I have finally been able to find my identity, and that I now have the abilty to be honest with myself. The value of that is immeasuerable...

I am overappreciative because I feel under appreciated.
I am prone to love too strongly because I often do not feel loved.
I am overly hospitable because I often do not feel welcome.
I am a little whiny because my mother spoiled me.
I am loud because I don't feel heard.
I am a user because I know no other outlet for my pain.
I am sometimes not kind to others, because I want to feel justified.

These are not correct ways of living. These are the things I want to change about myself by no longer letting satan lie to me about who I am. These are not too hard for Jesus to change. He isn't through with me yet.

I am very giving because I have lost much.
I am very grateful because I have been given so much more.
I am a loyal friend in hopes that I, too, will have loyal friends.
I am honest because I get tired of pretending.
I am compassionate because I have suffered.
I am merciful because everyone acts out of their own hurt.

These are the things about myself that I have come to like. These are the ways I have become like Jesus. I pray that these traits stay with me, and even become stronger.

I am so grateful that Jesus has taken so much time to teach me about myself and about why I am the way I am and why I do the things I do. I know who I am now, and that gives me the freedom to be me. I only will strive to make my character more like that of Jesus. I pray one day I will see only Him in me.