Thursday, December 6, 2007

Ready to Jump, Even Ready to Fall


I woke up on Tuesday afternoon to a slightly disheartening message in my facebook inbox from a good friend who is on vacation in California. It began by telling me that there was a prayer need for a friend of my friend. "Ok, simple enough," I thought. I began to skim over the message and see who it was that needed prayer, and what had happened. When I got to the second paragraph, however, my eyes froze. Read along with me:

my pastor in Hawaii, Mark Rife and his wife Sarah went hiking on saturday and sarah fell face forward from a 75ft. waterfall. mark jumped in after her and only sustained a few injuries. sarah however was flown to oahu to be put in intensive care until they could determine her condition...

The message goes on to tell more about Sarah; the injuries she sustained, and her current condition. But for at least the next five minutes, my eyes kept wandering to that paragraph. Why? Because I was completely struck by the fact that the message told me that HE JUMPED IN AFTER HER. She fell off of a cliff, and he jumped in after her. I mean, who does that?

This picture of love, faith, and trust has not left my mind since Tuesday. I first thought of the love that we know as humans, the love that we have for each other, but it wasn't long before I related this to the Love of Jesus. The trust involved in making a jump like that. The ability to just jump, without thinking twice and without weighing the options first. This is pretty foreign to me, as I am pretty sure there isn't anyone (or anything) in my life that I would that quickly jump after. I don't have enough faith for that. I am not that devoted.

The more I think about it, and the more I have shared this story and where it has caused my thoughts to wander, the more I know that this is what I want to be striving after. I want to have the kind of faith that when Jesus tells me to jump in after Him, I don't ask questions and I don't heed caution. I want to love with the kind of love that causes me to be fully devoted to the point of jumping without first thinking about what it means for me. I want to trust enough that when I'm told to jump, I know that Jesus will be at the bottom to catch me and keep me from harm. I want to love that deeply, and I want to have faith that big.

This story has inspired me, and it has caused my heart to run after things I didn't know I was missing. I want to be brave. In fact, I want to be FEARLESS. I want to jump off without having time to worry about it, and I want to love SO MUCH that I know nothing else other than to just jump. Mark didn't stop to think about whether or not he would get hurt. He didn't consult anyone else about his decision, and he didn't stop to weigh his options. He just watched his beloved fall, and he just JUMPED. I want that. I want to be found at the bottom, knowing there was no other option. Let's go. I'm ready to fall.

*photo by dougmcneall
**title by elizabeth

11 comments:

elizabeth said...

ah yes. beautiful.

juli said...

Please pray for Mark's family. Tonight he took his own life so he could once again be with his wife.

Anonymous said...

He will always jump in after her.. even in death

Anonymous said...

You blogged this almost 4 years ago, never thinking it would come up again. Thanks for loving him before he was "big."

Anonymous said...

My pastor was telling me about Mark's choice to take his life this week & I could not believe, she said he has a blog that explains the 1000 days (like Romeo & Juliet - a movie they had watched before she died), how he traveled all over the world & shares what he did in those days & staying true to plan, committed suicide. I know from experience grief does some crazy things, I just am sad, after all this time, he still decided to do it & shared everything about it in a blog.
My heart goes out to his church & friends.

Anonymous said...

I went to college with Mark and heard about this yesterday. I am trying to make sense of it. Is that how his wife died-from injuries sustained from falling off a waterfall? I watched part of the 1000 days experiment and was touched by how much he loved her. He actually could not live without her :(

Anonymous said...

I encourage all to read this...

https://www.facebook.com/notes/doug-rife/a-little-brothers-response-to-his-big-brothers-suicide/246075108766374

Anonymous said...

I'm torn on this. I love the fact that he loved his wife enough to jump off a waterfall after her. I'm sad he didn't love her enough to keep jumping off waterfalls for God. And instead chased her to his death, not God to life.

Michelle said...

Doug, thank you for sharing your heart. Mark taught my daughters several years ago at Christian Liberty. His passion, creativity and personality captivated many. We mourn his loss with you. Be blessed. May our Lord Jesus Christ be the lifter of your heads during this sad time.

timber said...

I knew Mark at PCC. He had such a passion. Thanks Doug for your very good response.

Sherry said...

Just learned of Mark's death from my PCC update. I didn't know Mark well but we shared education classes with Dr. Y. He was such a vibrant and creative guy. I had not heard about his wife's fall or death...and this blog's response to Mark's immediate leap to help Sarah is very interesting. I related fully to the amazement of one jumping without thought of his own safety. I too long to have such faith in God that I will jump without consideration of the "what if's" of life.
I am deeply saddened by the fact that Mark seems to have "lost his way" after Sarah died. I can't begin to imagine the loss he felt, yet I hope that in a similar situation I could find an anchor in Christ.

Thank you for the blog...I will focus on the lessons of faith and love as my mind tries to process the tragedies that followed.