Pondering

I've had three people tell me within the last 24 hours that I think too much. It's just been one of "those" weeks. There's a lot on my mind. I thought I would share.

#1: It is painful to suddenly realize that you've spent a lot of time mourning the loss of something that you never actually had to lose in the first place. Ouch.

#2: It is even more painful to mourn the loss of something you actually DID have. That's just downright heartbreaking.

#3: I have been spending a few years waiting for my life to start. Today, it occurred to me that, oh wait, it started without me. I better start living it.

#4: There is a period of life between realizing that you have to grow up and actually growing up. I've played around in that period of life for a little bit too long. It's time to grow up. It's been time.

#5: I have absolutely no idea what I want out of life. I have no idea what makes me happy, or how to live in what makes me happy. That frightens me. I've already wasted enough time.

#6: The best way to act out on irrational thoughts and ideas is to take it out on your hair. You can always repair damage done to your hair. You cannot repair damage done to your reputation, your job, your relationships, or your life. I have a drastic new hair color (or colors), and I feel like I've done enough damage for today. No need to quit my job or push away my friends, because I totally screwed up my hair. And I love it. Way to deal. Go me.

#7: It really, really is okay to let go and move on. It's time. It's been time. It's okay. It's OKAY.