Missing

One of my favorite things about God is that He often gives us gifts that we never would have expected. There have been times in my life that God has given me something that I had no idea I needed until after I got it, and by then I was sure that I never could have lived without it. These things are special because I didn't know they were missing until they suddenly were there. I didn't know I needed them, but He did. These things are usually people. You are a great example of that. I could think of a few more, too. But today, I am especially grateful for YOU. You are one of these gifts, and I would not be who I am today if you hadn't of been here.

Because of you, I have finally figured out who I am. When I forget, you tell me. You are a brutally honest person, even more so than me, but you learned quickly that you can't say things that hurt until I trust you. You know how sensitive I really am, but you also know that I know how to be tough, too. You know how hard it is for me to trust, and you are patient when I change my mind over and over again about trusting you. You just wait patiently for me to realize that you haven't gone anywhere, and you probably never will.

You saw through me long before I knew you did, only because you once were me. That's why you want the best for me. You make me see exactly what I am capable of, and you won't let me settle for anything less even if I want to. You push. Often I push back, but you don't back down.

You let me whine and be a baby when I need to be, and you take care of me better than anyone else ever has. I think it's because you know that I can take care of myself, but sometimes I just don't want to. And you truly don't mind doing it for me. Our co-workers think I'm spoiled. You know I am, and you don't care.

I love spending time with you, no matter what we're doing. I love coming over to your house, because it is safe and comfortable and nothing harmful can reach me out there. I love that you know how important it is to me that you pay attention to me sometimes. I love that we can read each other like books, and I love that it confuses and frustrates everyone around us. I love long lunches and late work days with you. Even if we can't act like we're friends at work. I love that you know how important it is to me to be touched, and that even though it makes you feel claustrophobic you will reach over and touch me to comfort me when I need it. You know that a touch forgives a harsh word and calms an anxious mind. You know.

You've taught me how to act, and I've taught you how to talk. You know that talking fixes things for me, and so you pry my real feelings out of me. You force me to communicate. And I make you talk about how you feel. We trust each others' words, and that is more valuable than anything else.

You make me be the best me that there is. You make me be a grown-up, but you don't leave me to figure out how to do that on my own. You push me, and you know that I don't really hate you for it, even though I say that I do. You want great things for me, and you are helping me get them. We conspire often to achieve the things we want the way we want them, and it always works. I love that. It makes me laugh. If only they really knew the things we were up to...

I love you. I tell you this often, but I mean it with all my heart. I wouldn't be who I am without you, and what I love the most is that I didn't even know I was missing you until suddenly you were there. And now I couldn't imagine living without you. Weird how that works, huh?