Sunday, May 18, 2008

I (Don't) Like

I Don't like:
-the headache I get when I don't have my morning coffee
-the days that I have no desire to get out of bed
-when the dog wakes me up too early and I can't go back to sleep
-waking up in the middle of the night and my thoughts keep me awake
-being tossed around at work (who knew I would appreciate my own classroom?)
-when I can't calm one of my babies down
-being so lost in thought that I don't do my job well
-having to go home from work, alone
-spending the weekends not at work, alone
-feeling alone
-having to wonder if anyone cares
-wondering if I was ever happy (was I really not?)
-remembering what it was like to be surrounded by friends because I want it back
-having to fake it
-not knowing where I'll be a year from now (or even a month)
-how fiercely I crave human contact sometimes
-not knowing if I'm still loved
-not knowing how to talk to God anymore
-transitions
-change

I Like:
-watching the sun set from my back deck (I live on a hill, it's gorgeous)
-being ok with spending time alone
-sleeping late
-working half-days
-when someone else made the coffee already
-having a super easy day at work
-hanging out with work friends outside of work
-laughing so hard that it's difficult to breathe (usually at work)
-receiving wisdom and truth, even when it's hard to hear
-trusting (it's so hard!)
-serious text conversations (the easiest way to have them, in my opinion)
-how easy it is to escape into a book
-realizing that I'm running away in time to stop and turn around
-when God whispers to me
-the kind of love that makes you want to give it away
-knowing that I'm going to be ok, knowing that I control how I feel, knowing that my life is only as good as I make it, and knowing that I can start over at any given moment
-GRACE