In Case I Never Told You...

You.
I don't think you have any idea how much I worry about you.

The clock read 5:25am on my dashboard when I got in the car to drive home.
It was pouring rain, and I worried all night about whether you could drive in the rain.
Yes, I worried all night long. You said you'd be home at ten.
Where were you?
Do I even want to know?

I found the hundred dollars you left on the stairs on my way out.
You've always thought you could pay me off when you treated me badly.
It's always worked.
That one is my fault.

He woke up at four, and he wanted to know if you were there yet.
I crawled in bed with him.
Like you used to.
You crawled into the warm spot I left you when you got there.
Like I used to.
How many more times am I going to have to make your excuses to him?
How many more times are we going to switch places next to his warm sleeping body?
He didn't know it was morning.
He never does.

I love you, and I hate that your life didn't turn out the way you wanted it to.
Good news, it's not over.
I'm sorry he made you feel less than what you are; you're worth so much more than that.
He left you the two best things he ever gave you.
They adore you.

I adore you.
You're gonna make it.
Don't run away.
You can do this.
Don't give them up.
They need you.
I can't raise them anymore.
That's your job.
And you're good at it.

It's going to be okay. Four more days, and it's going to be over. I'll be right here. I told you I wouldn't leave you until it was over. I'm still here. Just keep hanging on, okay?

When you call me tomorrow, I'll pretend like it never happened.
I'll let you get away with it, one last time.
But then it's time to move on.
It's time to heal.
It's time to let go.

You can do it.
I believe in you.